A Perfect Birthday

I mostly adhered to my daughter's "you shall not work on your birthday" edict yesterday, but after following one of Megan's tweets, I felt compelled to dash off a quick article that may go online today...and if so, may kick my article originally scheduled for today into some time next week. But I had fun writing it, it was quick and off-the-cuff, and I didn't edit myself to death.

My husband and I put ourselves on an austerity program a few years ago that precluded big celebrations and big expressions of affection, but this year we've been able to ease up. Because yesterday's birthday was a biggie, I actually looked forward to it. I knew this year would not be a repeat of last year's self-imposed pity party because...ta-da...a birthday card and check arrived from my mom last week, along with a birthday card and check for my husband, whose birthday was two weeks ago, and an anniversary card (our anniversary is in March) and check. Do I think my mom remembers just how big a birthday it was for me? Probably not, but to have had it remembered for the first time in three years is good enough for me at this point.

When I picked up Rachael after lunch yesterday, she couldn't wait to give me her gift. The card brought me to tears. After all our struggles, to be at this place in our relationship with one another is something neither of us takes for granted. As I told a close friend yesterday, in our immediate family we treat each other with respect and love, but don't allow anyone to either sit in their shit or be full of it.

Mostly, though, we laugh and talk, run errands, go to movies, and watch Bravo marathons. This morning talk was all about The Boy, who will be coming to visit late this month. Anyway, after the card came the gift, a lovely purple/blue glass bird made by a gifted glass artist who graduated from Hendrix College in 1998. Which means she bought it not over the weekend or last week...she bought it before coming home for the summer. It was thoughtful...obviously I adore purple, and I've transferred my love of glass to both Harold and Rachael...and lovely. After putting the card away, we put the bird on my bedside table. And then she took me to Starbucks for a drink. When we came home, she did my makeup, and noted that this fabulous new eye concealer from Mahya I've been using on my eyelids made a tremendous difference. (Truly, if you have discolored, dark, or red lids, this product is frigging amazing. Because my lids are so discolored, for a couple of years I've been unable to wear most of my beautiful BE shadows unless they are pretty light. This concealer makes it possible for me to pull out some of my favorite darker colors, and to wear them without looking like a raccoon.)

Later in the afternoon a beautiful display of hydrangeas and mini-calla lilies arrived from my family. More thoughtfulness as I am the Queen of the Hydrangea. When Harold got home, he gave me his gift. His card also brought me to tears. And the gift (depicted on the right)...extravagant and over-the-top on any other birthday than this one, but perfect—for me, and our lifestyle—for every day. Silly, silly man...I think he actually thought I was disappointed he didn't buy my dream bracelet (seen to the left), which would have been the perfect gift if I lived a different life. If I actually owned it, though, I think I'd probably gaze adoringly at it on a daily basis, but only wear it three or four times a year.

So ends the conspicuous consumption portion of my blog entry. <g>

Then it was time for dinner at Fearing's. Dean Fearing, along with Stephan Pyles and Robert Del Grande, invented Southwestern Cuisine, and for years Fearing ran the restaurant at The Mansion, a boutique hotel here in Dallas. A couple of years ago he opened his own restaurant in the Ritz Carleton, and though it isn't as highly acclaimed as Pyles' is, the food is more accessible, and more Texan in its exuberance and abundance. Dinner was spectacular, the birthday cake the best damn restaurant birthday cake you can fathom, and when I got home and checked my twitter feed, there was a response from @fearingsdallas about my foursquare tweet, sent in the car on the way to the restaurant.

To top it off, there was a birthday message from my mom, who called while we were at dinner, and though it's a very easy thing to post a Facebook birthday message, the number of family and friends who bothered to take the time really warmed my heart. And since I didn't know until this morning that the Mavs lost game one of the NBA Finals (our game is #3, on Sunday), the entire day went off without a sour note.

A Perfect Birthday

It's a Look

This morning, after getting my driver's license renewed, I met a friend for coffee at a local mall that also houses a mineral makeup store for which we'd both bought Groupons. Because I knew I'd be getting my picture taken for my driver's license, I wore makeup (mineral foundation and veil, three colors of eyeshadow applied with a very restrained hand, a brow filler/tamer, mascara, and my typical blush). I should have known that perhaps this store wasn't for me when the make-up artist/saleswoman asked if I was wearing any makeup.

I told her that I wanted to try out her store because Bare Escentuals tends to build their product line around warm tones and I prefer cool ones. What do you suppose she did? Well, after putting foundation and a very brown bronzer on me, she loaded on eye shadows that she described as neutral—ie, browns—but in no way restrained. As for the blusher she used, it had already turned orange by the time she finished my eyes, so she removed it all to try again.

At this point I suggested a neutral look built around gray, but I guess I should have specified light gray, because her idea of a neutral gray eye featured charcoal gray over most of my lid, a teal color on the inner part of the eye, and a coppery yellow smack dab in the center of my lower and middle eyelid. At that point I said, as tactfully as possible, that this might be a fine "night" look, but she assured me it was perfect for daily wear.

In the end I used my Groupon for the foundation, mineral veil, an eyelid primer to cover my red lids, some brow filler, and a huge Kabuki brush that puts my BE Kabuki brush to shame. I picked up a new technique for loading the 'buki brush that I can't wait to try, but after walking in the door five minutes ago, I headed straight for the bathroom and scrubbed the whore off my face.

It's a Look

Remington Ac2015 Tstudio Salon Collection Pearl Ceramic Hair Dryer

Grade: B-

Hair Dryer

Amazon Vine just posted my short review of this ceramic hair dryer. It begins...

This Remington 1875 watt hair dryer with feminine pink accents is powerful; my hair dried in a fraction of the time it generally takes. That said, though, the dryer is 50% heavier than my old dryer...I know because I weighed both. The question is, does the speed with which hair dries mitigate how heavy the dryer becomes the longer you need to use it?

Read this Amazon Vine review in its entirety at Amazon.

Smart Shopping

The other day I tweeted about a recent Bath and Body Works purchase that saved me beaucoup money. For years now I've used one of the "classics" that now can only be bought online or in B&BW outlets. As the only Texas outlet is five hours away, I wait until B&BW online has a sale, and order in bulk. But because I order in bulk, unless I can reduce shipping costs, I don't bother. Last week I was able to buy each $9.50 bottle of shower gel for $6.00, and after finding and using a $10 off coupon somewhere online and getting free shipping, I paid $54 for ten bottles, tax included, and shipping eliminated. Had I flat out bought ten bottles, I would have spent more than $110. As you may surmise, I was pretty impressed with myself.

I've become an coupon - online and otherwise - fiend in recent months. Last month when it came time to buy Rachael her College Wardrobe, she decided she wanted to shop at Old Navy. We have a Gap card, which means shopping at Old Navy on a Tuesday results in a 10% discount, excluding coupons. Online coupons I located provided $10 off of $50 worth of purchases and $5 off of $25 worth of purchases. The sales clerk was willing to take her time with me, allowing me to use to two each of the coupons as well as the card discount, and as a result, we'd saved $100 via five separate purchases.

Before Groupon came to Dallas, I heard about it somewhere, and both my husband and I signed up well before it kicked off locally. Both of us have bought some great stuff through it, although paying attention to expiration dates is key.

I have a bit of my dad and my mom in me when it comes to spending money; it's a constant push me/pull you. Both grew up in poverty during the Depression, but his philosophy was "you can't take it with you" while my mom's has always been to save as much as possible. It can be hilarious given her wealth to take her to one of the local dollar stores to buy water bottles and another to buy batteries, but after this afternoon's experience, I'm hardly one to talk.

I've written before about my sensitive skin, and how, after finding perfect skin care regimens, the companies either go out of business or change formulations. I don't have acne - never have - but most of what is sold for women in their 40s is too creamy and rich for me. Recently I bought a Proactiv kit at a kiosk in a local mall, and discovered that the new formulations are gentle enough for my skin, and actually get rid of the blackheads on my nose and the deep-under-skin congestion I get on my temples. But I'm not using all the products at the same rate, and decided to see where I could buy additional cleanser and toner the cheapest. Using the Kiosk for convenience and speed comes at too high a price. It took me almost two hours to get the best deal today, and had I not engaged in an online chat, I'd have missed it altogether.

You can buy lots of Proactiv at Amazon, via different sources, but many sources are selling the old formulation, and I could get what I wanted, with free shipping, but without a guarantee (using the photos accompanying each item) that I'd be getting the newer formulation. Scratch Amazon.

With eBay it was much the same. So...on to QVC, where the prices were good. I thought I'd found an online coupon that would give me free shipping - one of those where you click the coupon and it actually opens the store's site, and it's not until check-out that you see the discount - but I was mistaken. No free shipping today for what I was buying, so by the time I realized I'd not only be paying tax but shipping as well, I decided I could do better elsewhere.

Next it was the actual Proactiv website, which I'd briefly visited yesterday, only to dismiss it as an option because I thought I'd be able to do was buy one of two kits being sold, neither of which interested me because I needed to pick and choose from among products. I returned today for further investigation and discovered I could do an online chat, during which I learned I could buy individual items, greatly discounted, btw, but only if I bought a kit first and became a member. As she and I chatted, I opened a new browser window to look up shipping and tax in their FAQ, saw there would be no tax added on, and shipping far more reasonable than QVC's. Yes, I'd have to buy a basic kit, but given the almost sample sizes, decided it would be perfect for that one-quart airline baggie allowed in airplane carry-on luggage. Five minutes later, after buying the smallest kit, I went back to the Proactiv website, where I accessed the catalog and bought the two items I wanted, which will last for two months, for a grand total of $30.89 (shipping included) versus $41.94 at QVC (which includes shipping but not the sales tax I'd be charged).

Once my first order actually ships - in a day or so - I'll be able to go into my Proactiv account and cancel the future automatic shipments so that I can continue to order piecemeal what I need. In the olden days - BSP (before smart phones) - that would have been a hassle, but with my phone's calendar (which syncs with Google calendar since I use a Droid), if I'm unable to cancel all future shipments, I can schedule cancellations easily and timely.

Now it's time to print out some Ulta coupons so I can buy some new nail polish. The Opi I bought years ago still does its job, but I'm running out.

Smart Shopping

When a Train Wrecks, People Get Hurt

In early July I mentioned that most of Bare Escentuals' colors are formulated for women with warm skin tones. Suzi McGowen commented about a line of mineral make-up with lots of cool toned choices that I'd never heard of - Aromaleigh. I visited the site and saw it was preparing to shut down. I didn't want to build up an attachment to something soon to disappear, so I stopped looking. Then, when FragranceX, a website that supposedly carries discontinued BE could not fill my order for Heaven blush, I decided to take a second look at Aromaleigh.

Soon I had three brand new blushes, heavily discounted due to the going-out-of-business sale, that were all in my color way, and at that point I thought to myself, "Why is this woman going out of business after twelve years?"

Both before and after my vacation last month, I alternated between investigating and ordering eye shadows, which were even more heavily discounted in the last two weeks. Tonight at midnight the website turns off its lights for good, and I am strangely bereft. Not because I'll need mineral makeup any time in the near future, but because of what I learned...and what I still do not know.

Did site owner Kristen Bell use unapproved ingredients in some eyeshadows? One group - whose members set up a forum ostensibly to provide a forum for all mineral make-up users to rant even though their intention, allegedly (and there is evidence of this), was to rant against Aromaleigh - says yes. Kristen Bell's defenders say they were told by FDA employees that the site was victim of a witch hunt.

Did Aromaleigh's owner fuck up with an overly complex point program, some iffy customer service, and erratic personal blogging? It looks like the answer to all three is yes. Staffing issues, a death in the family, and a divorce...in all likelihood these matters contributed to some Bad Behavior, but compounding these personal problems were some women who decided they needed proof of her suffering, and by doing so, caused more suffering, and probably more erratic choices.

In the end all I know is this: I placed five orders in the last two months, during a period when Aromaleigh's owner was trying to get rid of inventory by using ingredients to mix probably a hundred and fifty shades of eyeshadows and forty shades of foundation in three formulations, and experienced terrific and personalized service, and near-immediate delivery. There's a whole lot involved in running a business that ships internationally, and hordes of the site's international and/or institutional customers, worried about order fulfillment, began filing premature claims with Paypal, resulting in thousands of dollars taken from the business account and presumably held in escrow in the interim. I don't envy Kristen Bell's life over the last two months, and in some way feel a kinship with her as a person who made some mistakes and suffered some very public consequences.

All that said, had I been a customer made to feel guilt over the mention of poor service, if I felt blown off after questioning the safety of a product, no doubt I'd feel somewhat differently. After all, look at how publicly I've announced my anger toward Penguin books, but Penguin is a large corporate entity and not a small business. Then too, I'm not out to close Penguin down...I just want them to treat their ebook customers as they treat their print customers.

So it's not quite an apples to apples thing.

As midnight approaches on the East Coast - it's slightly less than an hour away - my thoughts are with Aromaleigh and its owner, and some disgruntled customers who apparently played a part in its closing down. I'm reminded of some instances in my own online past and some individuals who caused me personal pain as a result of my public position. I didn't lose my livelihood as a result and therefore cannot truly know how Kristen Bell feels, but I do wish her luck in the future and hope she finds a creative outlet for her talent.

When a Train Wrecks, People Get Hurt

Available BE

I decided to actually list the BE eye colors I have that I'd love to have find another home. All have been opened...I think...but most have never been used, or used once, and with clean brushes. If you are interested in any of these, please let me know and for postage and a pittance, I'll send it/them to you.

• Enchanting glimpse - dusty pink (not currently available through BE)
• Idol shadow - dusty/smokey purple color (not currently available through BE)
• Sincerely, Donna glimmer - mauvey, beige with green iridescence (not currently available through BE)
• Hyacinth glimpse - light silver lavender
• Emotion glimmer - deep, cool-toned purple
• Freedom shadow - medium teal-blue
• Aubergine blush - described as shimmery rose pink, but to me it looks very warm toned (small sample size, yours for postage only)
• Smokey Sequins liner shadow - dark, smokey violet purple with glitter, kit-sized
• Praise glimpse - deep blue-gray
• Plush Purple shadow - mulberry plum, kit-sized
• 1990s glimmer - smokey plum
• Ulta brand Amethyst eyeshadow - plum (very warm toned)

Available BE

House...and Bare Escentuals (Looking for some?)

When House first came on the air several years ago, it captivated my family. We loved the misanthropic House, and one of the very few things we did together during that time in our lives was sitting down to watch it every week. And then in its last moments an episode turned me off the show so profoundly I stopped watching.

Since Rachael came home for the summer, she's happily watched the House marathons that air Saturday nights on Bravo. Early this summer I worked closing most Saturdays and returned home most midnights to find her and her dad ensconced on the couch, catching up on what they'd missed over the years (and re-watching episodes they'd already seen).

While my interest level never returned to that pre-horrendous episode level - and regardless of the show's medical accuracy - I never returned to my original level of interest, as the summer progressed and bookstore hours became fewer and more far between, I started to join them for those Saturday night marathons. Even after Rachael "got a life," (hooray!) and was no longer home on Saturday nights, my husband and I continued the ritual.

Last night Rachael was home, and as my husband is preparing for trial, it was just the two of us on the couch. We were engrossed in the 11:00 episode, Meaning, co-starring Kathleen Quinlan (from that perfect summer flick, Lifeguard, with Sam Elliott at his hunkiest, and also the star of that Private Benjamin movie-of-the-week rip-off She's In the Army Now) and then that last moment happened...again. I jumped up off the couch and practically screamed at the TV: "Now I remember why I stopped watching this show!" Forget how House didn't need Cuddy's permission to give the patient a shot of cortisol, once in the last moments Wilson suggests keeping from House that the simple shot allowed a nearly vegitative man in a wheelchair to walk again after eight years and hug his wife and son because it would only feed his ego - and she agrees - I could no longer tolerate another second. My daughter, dumbfounded, was shocked at my "passionate" response, and since it was now midnight, I left her to her own devices but was too wound up to sleep.

Instead, I reorganized my make-up drawer. BTW, if any of you are looking for some never used, others rarely used, Bare Escentuals eye colors, let me know and I'll send you a list of what's available so I can mail your choices for a pittance...basically postage and perhaps a tiny bit more. While I'm keeping plenty, many of the colors I bought once upon a time are either too dark for me now, or aren't cool toned enough to really suit me (particularly now that I've bought several more suitable purple and gray shades from Aromaleigh in their going-out-of-business sale - thanks again for the tip last month, Suzi). I've got plenty of colors in the purple/plum range, as well as several pinkish toned colors.

House...and Bare Escentuals (Looking for some?)

So How's My Week Now?

On Wednesday I blogged about how crummy my week was. I thought I'd give you an update on whether things have improved, gotten even worse, or stayed the same.

On being put on the defensive by someone deflecting off themselves...that one remains as is, but having Rose Fox at PW (one of my editors) use my Monday blog as part of her Genreville Blog at PW mitigated that to some extent. Another blog picked up the entry as well, but IMHO missed the jumping-off point, so I left a comment.

Next up...the pool. They've finished the work as a result of my constant nagging and nudging. But in the process they burned out tue motor and seem to have forgotten promises made about paying for mistakes. We are in negotiations...that my husband is a lawyer should work in our favor and I hope they live up to their word...and the email we have as proof.

Perhaps most important was straightening out the mess revolving around my daughter's college fund. Yesterday afternoon, on a conference call with both ends, I learned that the amount of money unaccounted for had been transferred incorrectly due to a numerical transposition. The problem is being rectified and all the money and funds will be in the right place by Monday afternoon. When I asked my husband what would have happened had I not been such a nudge as to actually hint at malfeasance, his answer was, "Probably nothing." Given that the money had been "lost" for six weeks, yet found in fewer than five business days after I got involved, I tend to believe him.

As for the receipt I never received after buying some skin care items at a kiosk, it arrived in today's email.

The cocktail dress my daughter and I ordered for her online (and I was thrilled when she asked me to help pick it out at Modcloth.com, a store she likes that I think is pretty wonderful), which I previously mentioned in a tweet, arrived a day later than it should have, given that we paid for expedited shipping. The "what if" scenario of having to buy a new "fancy" dress at the last minute has been avoided, and her dress is at the tailor being altered for pick-up tomorrow afternoon.

My attempt to buy my discontinued BE blush turned into a debacle. Days after placing the order I realized I hadn't received the typical "we've sent your item[s]" in the mail, and when I re-searched the item via google, saw they'd removed it from inventory. Today they sent me final confirmation that what they had was "damaged" and could not be sent. I'd stopped believing in them days ago, though, and luckily found a jar on eBay and won the auction. I didn't pay close enough attention to a second auction, though, and lost a second jar by something like twenty cents. Even so, I've now got enough Heaven blush to last a few years, and thanks to Suzi, who commented on the original blog entry, found some interesting possible replacements at Aromaleigh and bought them at their discounted, "end of business" sale. If any of them work - or all of them do - I'm probably good for a decade.

Finally, something that has been on-going for months is my account with an online program for reviewers to receive books. One of my PW editors set up accounts for us a year or so ago, and while I could use it to track which books she'd assigned me and which reviews she'd received - to make sure nothing was lost - that part of the account I'd tried to use independent of my PW reviewer status didn't seem to work properly.

I've written here before how bizarre I find it that Amazon Vine doesn't make Kindle versions of the books we review available, and that I'd love to review more PW books off my Kindle rather than in print, and now that PW editor is setting up a pilot program to do just that. As a result, new accounts were established with the online program, and my involvement allowed me direct contact to somebody who could rectify the problem with my independent use of the larger program. I've now got five books I want to read and review available on my Kindle and plan to read them on vacation next week. On the flip side, though, the PW part of the equation isn't going quite as smoothly given anonymity requirements as well as the web-mail system PW is using. Right now that part of things is in limbo and I doubt it will be fixed before I leave on vacation.

All that remains left for me to buy before going on vacation - my daughter and I did a final Target run today (well, we also did a Bed, Bath & Beyond run for her college bedding), as well as a B&N run for her - is a pair of sturdy every-day shoes that fit my orthotics, which I plan to shop for tomorrow. Buying ugly shoes is never fun, but my feet are improved enough that I can at least wear normal dress sandals in the evening.

Much of today's better frame of mind is the result of going out last evening to a local restaurant/pub for drinks and dinner to celebrate the birthdays of two B&N friends. I had two Stellas, which is one more than I've ever had, and they managed to dull the pain of the then-two-day headache I'd been working on. That two-day headache turned into a three-day headache when I awoke with it this morning, but it was soon replaced by cramps. For some reason, cramps and 100 degree heat and humidity aren't a great mix for me, and I'm glad to be home from our afternoon of shopping.

Cleaning the house in preparation for our house-sitter, figuring out which luggage to pack, then packing is all that remains before we leave next week. All in all, the week ends better than it began, and is certainly improved from Wednesday. I can't really ask for more than that.

So How's My Week Now?

Heaven, BE

I'm doomed by discontinuance. The fabulous stainless steel cutlery we registered for and received for our wedding...discontinued well before we needed replacement spoons and impossible to find anywhere, eventually requiring us to buy new cutlery. The perfect skin care system for my face...discontinued, and the one I used thereafter for two years changed formulation and ceased to work. As of this date, my sensitive skin still does not look as good as it looked while using those products.

Then there were/are two Bare Escentuals products that were perfect for me: Bloom eye color and Heaven blush. I discovered Bloom right as it went out of production and stocked up on e-Bay. I've got enough to last me a lifetime, and BE brought it back into production. Not so, though, for Heaven blush. It was discontinued a few years ago, and remains discontinued.

Three things about me: 1) I love purple; 2) I love purple, but only certain shades; and 3) I'm weird. Here's how all three of those things came together where Heaven was concerned. Once I realized BE had discontinued it, I stopped using it. I had half a jar left - BE products last forever - but decided going cold turkey, and giving it up rather than using it up, would be the thing to do. Yes, that's crazy, and I'm quite sure most people instead would have used it up, then tossed away the empty jar.

I guess there's a fourth thing: I'm among those people whose make-up and blush tends to turn orange/rust if it's not the right shade, regardless of the actual color. And while we're at it, combine #2 with #4 for a #6; my underlying skin color (from under-eye circles to lips) matches "true" violet shades of purple, not plum and/or brown purples, which takes most eye and cheek color out of consideration. Even so, I've gone through all the other BE blush options I've gathered over the years, often left over from kits, and today realized enough was enough and pulled out my half-used jar of Heaven.

Then I found some online at a store using Google check-out and ordered not one but two jars, which ought to last several years. After that I went into the den to ask my husband why I do the weird things I do. He had no answer.

Heaven, BE

A Question for the Ages

Every time I've seen a television commercial for Almay eye makeup in the past five or so years, I've asked myself the same question: "What on earth caused them to choose such a squinty-eyed model?"

If both these photos were part of eye makeup campaigns, I would be far more likely to buy whatever Iman's wearing than Elaine Irwin-Mellencamp (and yes, she is John Mellencamp's wife).

What about you?

A Question for the Ages